I am resigned

I quit my job this week. Pretty exciting right? Well, actually, I should add some information to that. I quit my job this week and I don’t have another one lined up. Still exciting, or a little bit stupid? 

I currently work managing a national apprenticeship programme aimed at supporting young and vulnerable people into work to gain new skills and experience of employment.

I live and breathe this stuff. Every time the word ‘Apprenticeship’ is uttered, I read the article or watch the broadcast or involve myself in the debate. And every time I try to type the word ‘appreciate’, I type ‘apprenticeship.’ (I just did it.) 

But the point of this blog post isn’t really about the fact I quit my job; it’s that full time work and fibromyalgia don’t really go that well together, and every time I leave one job I entertain the idea of slowing down and taking a job without the pressure and the stress, without the long hours and without autonomy in the hope it will force me to listen to my body. Inevitably I never do; I climb that silly job ladder and push myself that little bit harder. Is now the time to resign myself to the fact I need to slow it down? Well folks, I think it might be. 

I read a medical study about fibro not long ago, and one of the female patients in her forties stated that in her twenties and thirties she’d been able to balance pain and living, pushing the barriers where possible and dealing with the consequences when necessary. Now in her forties, she observed she could no longer do that and pain she’d previously dealt with could no longer be pushed to the back of her mind. She had stopped working all together at the time of the study. 

2013 - 13

My boobs aren’t that big, but still, what’s a girl to do? I think now might be the time as I approach the big 3-0 to slow it down and try to prioritise my health. Crikey, that phrase! I am constantly being told to “prioritise my health.” Maybe now is the time to listen. 

So, as I move to London (more on that in another post) I am considering the options available. Should I continue into similar work, take the opportunity to do some totally different work, take a step and work part time work, or take some time off to rest, blog and do no work. All of these sound quite appealing for very different reasons so it looks like I’m off for a think. A really hard think. Guess I’m not quite as resigned as I thought I was…

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